Meet BoneTown, the adult cartoon version of Grand Theft Auto that rewards you for having sex and consuming drugs and alcohol. Oh yeah, and Jesus and Ron Jeremy are starring in the game as well. This classic adult game will take you on quite the ride!
Note: Be sure to grab the uncensored version from the official website, instead of the soft version of Steam! We want the sex and all the boobies included, right?
BoneTown is an older game that can easily still put up a fight with the newest adult games in the industry, simply because it's so over the top and so much fun. It came out way back in 2008 and, to this date, is the only porn game that ESRB gave its rating. That alone should speak volumes about what this title actually represents.
Since gaming became a thing on its own, where some popular video games have budgets Hollywood movies would envy them on, there has been a massive gap between mainstream titles and adult ones.
After many years, just like my "wiener", BoneTown is still standing "strong"
While mainstream games keep progressing in every single way and are becoming better every month, porn games are still mainly small, indie projects. They are made by teams of just a few people and, more often than not, there's just one guy doing all the work.
That approach heavily limits development. Even today, when technology is so advanced that we can have stunning graphics and incredible gameplay created by one-man teams, it still takes a lot of time. Porn games are being published in bits and pieces, over the course of many weeks, months, sometimes even years.
When a game shows promise, the player base starts growing rapidly. If the updates come regularly and keep maintaining quality, the game might grow but, more often than not, everything takes much more than planned at first and, even if everything ends up the way it's set out to be, these games are far from being able to contest popular triple-A titles. That is where BoneTown comes into play.
Hell comes to BoneTown (free to explore the world map)
Comparing this BoneTown to a Grand Theft Auto franchise is the best way to introduce it to a wider audience. For starters, it is an open-world game where you can roam freely and experience things at your own leisure.
In the same way that GTA plays, you can do everything by the book and progress the storyline, or you can go crazy with random stuff and never actually finish the game, but still have more fun than those who do.
I remember playing the original GTA game when it came out, all the way back in 1997. I got to admit, I never cared about finishing any of the missions, the thing I enjoyed most was the fact the game allows you to do some wild free-roaming.
Forget about the missions, I just enjoyed exploring the open world, curious about what I would fine at the very end of the world map. You never know, the world could be flat after all! And of course, besides the exploring part, I just enjoyed; hijacking cars, ride a tank, blow up a train and trying not to get "busted", or "wasted" for that matter.
Hell, even the same thing goes for The Sims, I didn't give a damn about earning cash, I used unlimited cheats, buy everything I wanted and in the end; burn the freakin' house down. Or having some fun by removing the pool ladder from the swimming pool while my "Sims" were just taking a little dive. The results? I think you can fill in the blanks yourself.
"Am I evil? Yes I am!"
My point being, BoneTown is so much fun to play for the exact same reasons. This option allows you to just start a chaos, raise hell, bang as much babes as possible, snort a line, drink a few beers, and pretty much do whatever the f*ck you want. Sounds pretty fun, right?
Got bored of all of that? Then there's still a ton of missions to accomplish, just like in the GTA video game series.
BoneTown is the cartoon porn version of Grand Theft Auto
Where GTA is filled with sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, and overall debauchery, BoneTown steps it up a couple of good notches. It is, after all, a true porn game which means there's absolutely no censorship and you can enjoy as much dirty action as you could possibly handle.
Being a porn game, there are some differences from mainstream titles. While it is made for adults, the company that made BoneTown wanted to feature a lot of sex and even drug use but to limit violence to a minimum. There's no blood and you can't kill people; only knock them out. Also, there's a lot of dry humor for which creators admitted they were inspired by South Park.
"Everything your mother warned you about is not only featured in BoneTown, but encouraged: promiscuous, unprotected sex (in the streets, no less); various drugs; and strangers being beaten with a bat."
Quote from BoneTown game review
Jokes and dialogue are quite cheesy but that is precisely what you'd expect. I mean, some of the game's characters include Jesus Christ himself. On top of all that, the voice acting is top-notch and everything is overall polished, particularly when you take into account that the game is over a decade old.
The greatest power-ups in video gaming history
That's quite a statement, but it's the truth. BoneTown rewards you not only for having sex, but also giving you temporary power ups for consuming liquor and drugs. "No more beating the brain with liquor and drugs?", well, not today Mr Iggy Pop!
That's right, for starters, did you know drinking beers could even make your balls grow? Just one of the few things I've learned from playing BoneTown. Seems like BoneTown is not just all about bad jokes, sex and having fun, it's also "highly educational"... in its own special way.
Let's have a look at all the
alcoholic fluids power-ups that can be obtained in the game, shall we? Must warn you though, we're about to follow Alice deep down the rabbit hole.
Beer – Increases the size of your balls by a small amount.
Whiskey – Increases the size of your balls big time.
Weed – Weed makes you high, and somehow fly. Well, at least jump a lot "higher".
Shrooms – Invisibility and take no damage (for a short period of time).
Peyote – Allows you to teleport to the Spirit World (while invisible for enemies).
Toads – Gives anyone who touches you an electric shock.
Crack – Increases your running speed (short period of time).
Celebrities love to visit "the holy land" of BoneTown
BoneTown also has quite a few celebrity in-game cameos including; pornstar Ron Jeremy, Jesus Christ, Moses, Captain James T. Jerk, Satan (you'll find him in Mushroom Grove) and even Joseph Smith. Yes, that Joseph Smith... The one from the "Book of Morons".
Speaking of pornstar Ron Jeremy, he isn't the only adult film star with a video game cameo, check out this article that features all pornstars that starred in video games.
And, according to this game, Joseph discovered his new Mormon religion while tripping his balls off from eating a bunch of magic mushrooms he found while visiting BoneTown.
BoneTown also has quite a few locations you'll get to discover and explore, ranging from; Missonary Beach to Bone Vista Apartments, Mushroom Marsh, The Musky Thong, Man Island and many other places.
Playing this decade old classic adult game is a must
Being a professionally done, adult game, BoneTown features system requirements. However, those should pretty much present no concern considering anything that can start a browser nowadays should be able to run the game flawlessly. The graphics are dated but the cartoonish approach to art and character design holds to this day.
Also, you should take into consideration that action and sex scenes are part of the gameplay and not pre-rendered, which is another major plus for an adult title. And definitely not something that's considered to be "the standard", not even today in 2020.
D-Dub (the developers of BoneTown) really raised the bar in terms of adult video gaming by showing the world that adult games don't always have to be simplistic point and click-style games.
And so your sex-filled adventure in BoneTown begins...
You start off at the beach, where BoneTown immediately puts you in the middle of the action through a tutorial. A drunk jock wakes you up from a nap, pumped up to fight you. That's when you first realize that this game is a real deal because you get to control a character and not just interact through simple clicking.
Upon successfully defeating your foe, a dazzling blonde with breathtaking curves comes to introduce you to the city and reward you with a sloppy blowjob. In just a couple of minutes, you get to see the best of what BoneTown has to offer.
From there on out, it's up to you to follow the crazy storyline or go crazy all by yourself. Either way, you'll spend many hours having lots of (dirty) fun. Ready to play BoneTown? Ready for some sex, drugs and Ron Jeremy?
BoneTown is available as a digital download or on DVD disc. Also available in combination with its StarCraft based sci-fi fantasy sequel; BoneCraft. Play BoneTown