Pixel porn got you intrigued? We feel the same! And somehow that led us to the discovery of some naughty hidden gems of adult video games available on the good old ZX Spectrum 8-bit home computers (from the early 80's). But there's a catch! We're not just going to cover these spicy retro games, we've even included some brand new 8-bit adult titles!

Wait? What? Brand new 8-bit erotic games being made in 2020? That's right, and we'll get to that in a second.

Kinky 8-bit retro games for the ZX Spectrum computer

The good old ZX Spectrum, what a machine. Hard to imagine this home computer is over 38 years old. Doesn't ring a bell? The ZX Spectrum was a highly popular home computer during the 80's, especially in the United Kingdom.

In the UK. the Spectrum was like the Commodore 64 of the US. Over the years, more than 5 million copies were sold and a whole new generation of gamers were born.

It may have been discontinued in 1992, after 10 years on the market battling for dominance against the Commodore 64 machine, causing both a soft and hardware boom in this new exciting home computers (and video gaming) industry that was about to explode.

That being said, not every game created for the ZX Spectrum was aimed at young eyes or minds. Some of these titles were actually very much NSFW, and only targeted at adult gamers. well, as much as graphics would allow them to be NSFW during that time. I mean, with 8-bit visuals you are kinda limited in terms of graphics. Got curious? Good! Allow us to introduce you to the lewdest games available on the majestic machine itself...

Sabrina (1988)

Not the teenage witch (which name rhymes with vagina) that most people might know from 90s Nickelodeon or the semi-recent Netflix series. Nah, today we'll be checking out a different "Sabrina". Time for you to meet one of the hottest pop stars of the 80s and the girl of many wet dreams - Sabrina Salerno.

During that era, music videos started killing the radio star to show a lot more skin, resulting in female pop-stars becoming the new sex symbols.

Don't know who Sabrina Selerno is? Shame on you! Just kidding, it's been a while, we get it... I'd bet the classic pop song "Boys, Boys, Boys" and its spicy wet t-shirt music video (you'll see above) will surely help you remember.

This very same Sabrina turns out to be the main protagonist in a Spanish game for the ZX Spectrum as well, and as soon as you start the game up, you're presented with the open shirt of the eponymous female lead (looking like a cross between Elvira and Peg from Married with Children), presenting her cleavage to you with a completely topless poster (albeit in pixelated form) of her on the wall behind her.

As you can see, "pixel porn" is going full force on this ZX Spectrum video game!

The game begins with the busty Sabrina in a part of town, and you must make your way across the city, all the while using Sab's mighty mammary glands to knock people out of the way (which from the looks of the animation, she can either tense her breasts bigger or just increase their size at will) and avoiding the thrown fruit of angry women who apparently don't take kindly to having their husbands knocked about town with another woman's chest.

Early on in the game, there's also a (what appears to be a) slap off contest of some sorts against (again, what appears to be) a hooker on the streets. Sabrina is a beat 'em up game, but with a "twist", with the twist being her massive knockers! Oh well, gotta love 80s erotica, right?

Since I didn't feel like completing the entire game, I just watched some playthrough videos online instead, simply because I wanted to find out how this pixel porn beat 'em up game would end once you've completed all stages.

the end-game involves meeting a "lady of night" and either fighting her or having some kind of vertical intercourse. Whatever it is, the screen goes crazy with colours if you succeed, and I don't know if that's good or bad. We'll let you decide. Sabrina also got released on the MSX and Amstrad CPC machines, two similar 8-bit home computers from the past.

Paradise Cafe (1985)

A game making its way from the land of Portugal, Paradise Cafe was released in 1985 and coming from a lot of sources - it's often deemed a "classic" or it's being cited as "the most offensive 8-bit game ever made". Well, that sounds promising, don't you think?

And well, after playing Paradise Cafe for about 8 seconds, I can certainly see why. Oh boy, where do I even start... If you thought GTA with all its violence, hookers, drugs and sex was offensive, think again as this is truly hardcore adult gaming from the past!

The game (although its quite a stretch to call it that, having a high score counter doesn't make you a game by default) is just a fever dream of nonsensical scenes one after another, featuring crudely drawn sex scenes where you take the role of a young man who just goes around town having intercourse with random strangers and touching himself. I'd love to be able to say you do more, but you really don't.

All interactions are randomised, and you can bump into police officers, prostitutes, thieves or even old ladies. You can also buy a gun and drugs. Apparently the gun is OP.

I really don't know what to say about this. It's absolute madness and it seems like the only aim of this game was to make something that kids wanted to play because it was deemed "hardcore", something their parents didn't want them to play.

However, I must give the developers of this game some credit for crafting the greatest video game end screen of all time. I'd give 'em that!

Samantha Fox Strip Poker (1986)

If you weren't a teenage boy in the UK during the 80s, you may not know who Samantha Fox is. However, if you were coming of age as a young British man in the 1980s, you certainly knew who former glamour model and singer Samantha Fox was. In fact, she was so famous at the time, developers Software Communications wanted you to be able play a Royal Flush to get her to take her top off.

One of the first erotic video games (slightly unsettling that's a genre but we'll roll with it) to feature a full human rather than just a clumped together bunch of pixels, Samantha Fox Strip Poker was pretty much exactly what you think it would be. It was you vs the one and only Sam Fox in a game of 5 or 7 card stud poker, where winning a hand meant the Fox would lose an item of clothing, the triumphant finish being when she was without a stitch left on her.

The gameplay is incredibly tame to be fair, with the majority of your time staring at a black screen punctuated by playing cards, and winning a hand cuts to a black and white pixelated image of the titular starlet awkwardly removing a glove.

Samantha Fox Strip Poker also got published, besides the ZX computers, on the Commodore 64, Amstrad CPC, BBC Micro and MSX. What can we say? If this was considered "lewd" or "offensive" at the time, I don't know how anyone got anything done in the 80s. I guess we're just really spoiled today by having pretty much access to unlimited porn videos at Pornhub for free.

Sex Tetris (1993)

As you would have guessed by the title of this naughty little ZX game, Sex Tetris is a clone of the classic 1987 falling blocks game known as - Tetris. In this 1993 version by Russian Soft, the falling blocks of the original Tetris game are being replaced with a few naked women slowly moving down from the top of the screen.

Try fitting these bare naked ladies into the "open holes" to clear those lines and gain extra points to level-up. Just like you can rotate the falling block shapes (known as tetrominoes) in the classic Tetris game, you can also rotate the falling women in this adult alternative title.

In case you're craving for more "falling blocks-action" after beating all levels in Sex Tetris, you are left with two other options. You can either move on to its sequel (Sex Tetris 2, from 1995) or to yet another sexy Tetris-clone for the ZX Spectrum, the 1995 adult game called Sextris (by Silicon Brains Software Ltd).

Any more ZX games from the past that contain topless breasts or nudity?

While the list of naughty games for the ZX hardware might not be that long, there's still a few adult video-game titles left to mention which certainly DO contain nudity.

On the three screenshots above, from first to last:

• Peepshow (1988) by Awk Software (Germany)
• Sexeso (1988) (Czech)
• Fantasy (1987) by R'n'H Microtec (United Kingdom)

Adult ZX Spectrum games from the present

While the games above are a testament to what counted as "obscene" many decades ago, it doesn't come close to the games being released for the ZX these modern days. Yes, you did read that correctly. The ZX Spectrum made a comeback recently and brand new video games are being released for the die-hard fans of 8-bit computer games.

In 2019, the brand new "ZX Spectrum Next" was released thanks to a successful Kickstarter crowd-funding campaign, and developers carried on right where their 80s predecessors left off, that includes making games which would make your grandmother and her whole book club blush.

Here are two notable and recent lewd ZX gaming examples that exist already, but expect more to pop up in the future as the team behind this new "ZX Spectrum Next" machine are working hard on growing their developers community... I'd say - bring it on!

(Leisure Suit) Larry (2019)

The name Larry and "lewd" or "raunchiness" may be a familiar title to many of the "point-and-click adventure gamers" among us from the late 80s and early 90s. There's a reason this might ring a few bells as this new ZX Spectrum game actually is a remake of the Leisure Suit Larry games created by Sierra back in the 1980s, that followed Larry Laffer on his many failed attempts to awkwardly flirt with younger women.

In fact, the Leisure Suit Larry adult game franchise is so popular that new official titles in the series are being released even this very day.

The latest adult game title in the franchise being "Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Dry Twice", which got released just recently (back in October of this year). I guess poor Larry Laffer is just a the kind of dork we've all grown to love over the years.

Upon booting up the game, the developers very responsibly put in an age rating recommendation (that being 16+) and give the pictorial disclaimers for nudity, profanity and gambling, as well as a cheeky little note saying "Made with love for the ZX Spectrum".

Created by Rafat Miazga, this sticks to the original old school Larry game formula and uses point-and-click mechanics to allow the story (and madness) to unfold, the player being able to interact with their surroundings with the commands: Go, Look, Take, Give, Talk, Use. Again, the type of user interface many of "us" old school adventure gamers are highly familiar with.

The game also features many different characters, puzzle elements and environments, so there's a lot of variety, as well as a wild night with Fawn, the sexy exotic dancer.

The end goal of the game is to shag a woman and find your true love, and the game actually has a score counter (which you can increase by peeing, don't ask) and to solve one of the puzzle elements in the game, distracting a pimp with an adult film. Props to Rafat Miazga for crafting this 8-bit piece of smut, or should we say - pure art?

You can get a physical copy of the game at bumfungaming.com, in case you are interested.

The Adventures of Jane Jelly 3 (2018)

Ok, fair is fair, this one might not be considered a true "lewd game", but we'll include it anyway. While the name alone is fantastic and sounds like an alternate universe version of Indiana Jones, Jane Jelly is the creation of Jaime Grilo, and stars the titular cowgirl who "is on Badass Guys Island to find the Egg Diamond and then leave the island with her clothes on".

The two things you'll notice almost immediately is the fine lady's chest, with modelling for the controllable heroine having particular emphasis placed on her, ahem, "upper torso", her behind, as well as her high heels and cowboy hat.

Jane has to side scroll her way through the jungle, cave and temple environments, dodging henchmen (presumably the Badass Guys) and wildlife to find the elusive treasure, the Egg Diamond itself.

Our own "Gamer Girl" ZX homebrew art

This new ZX Spectrum Next device got us a little excited, especially thanks to its community and so we've started messing around with some (copy and paste work) coding to build are own little pixel porn homebrew.

In the end, it turned out to become more of a spicy screensaver-thingy starring a nude "gamer girl", instead of being a full-blown lewd game. Curious about the results, but don't own a ZX machine? Don't worry, you can download the result below and it comes bundled with a ZX Spectrum emulator (for Windows).

In other words - it runs straight out of the box. Click and play, as simple as that. We do need to warn you up front though, it's a bit of a waste of your time, to say the least. But hey, on the other hand, it contains flying penisses and a catchy chiptune song. Enjoy!

And that's it for today's list of smut available on the popular home computers of the 80s. We're curious to see what the ZX Spectrum Next developers community will come up with next as we're always ready to check out and cover some more (and brand new) crazy and wild 8-bit erotica.